Miss Jimmy Olsen

Superman’s Pal, Jimmy Olsen
#44, April 1960

Miss Jimmy Olsen!

Jimmy is working at the Daily Planet when on/off girlfriend Lucy Lane calls to say she’s flying off for the night, can Jimmy feed her dog while she’s away? Jimmy is disappointed as he thought he was on a promise from Lucy. Poor guy.

As Jimmy leaves work, he spots rackateer Big Monte McGraw who’s prime suspect in a recent jewel heist. Jimmy overhears Big Monte’s date say, “Don’t worry, Monte! I hid them… but good!” Naturally, Jimmy’s nose for news is twitching but he’s prevented from following the pair when they go into a theatre. Seeing a sign outside that says that girls are wanted for a chorus line, Jimmy knows what he has to do!

Jimmy chooses a dress

He rushes home to his apartment and chooses which dress to wear (he’s got a trunk full of ’em — yep, it may be time to worry about our Jimmy). Slipping on stockings and a wig, Jimmy irons the dress of his choice, and then heads back to the theatre.

Jimmy does some ironing

The stage manager insists on viewing Jimmy’s legs, and is impressed by what he sees. Within moments, Jimmy is rehearsing for the chorus line with a bevvy of leggy lovelies. Luckily he’s allowed to wear a short skirt which hides the fact he’s packing a little something extra…

Show us yer legs, Jimmy

Big Monte takes an interest in the newcomer, much to the consternation of his current beau, Maisie. Maisie is even less impressed when Monte suggests the pair live together at Maisie’s apartment! Arriving at the apartment, Jimmy is amazed that it’s in the same building where Lucy lives: he won’t have far to go to walk the dog.

Maisie has a pet chimpanzee called Dora, who takes in instant like to Jimmy (or “Julie Ogden”, as he’s taken to calling himself). Jimmy goes to cook supper, but burns it to a frazzle. Panicking, he dashes to Lucy’s apartment and raids her fridge for some chopped meat to make into hamburgers.

Jimmy laces the hamburgers with sleeping powder and Maisie is soon fast asleep, allowing him to search her apartment for the jewels. Sadly, he can find no sign of them.

The next morning, Lucy knocks at the door. She’s concerned as she’s come home to find her dog starving: someone has stolen the dish of dog food from her fridge. Jimmy clutches his stomach. “The hamburgers we ate!” he groans. “Ohh… I-I feel sick!”

Not hamburger!

Later, at the theatre, Monte has bought Jimmy presents. He seems quite smitten. “I go for you, Babe!” he tells Jimmy, pinching his cheek. “We’re stepping out tonight… You and me!”

Maisie is understandably furious with jealousy: “Don’t speak to me, you boy-friend stealer!”

Maisie is jealous!

At the restaurant that evening, Jimmy is the belle of the ball. All eyes are on him in his glamorous new dress and bling. When one guy takes too close an interest, Big Monte has him beaten up! Another, a death row escapee, is shot dead by Monte’s goons! Jimmy sees the good in this, though: “…The law is spared the expense of executing him!” he reasons.

As the evening draws to a close, Monte escorts Jimmy home. At the door, he’s expecting more than just a nightcap: “I showed you a good time! Now you show how much you appreciate it! Give daddy-o a big kiss!”

Jimmy agrees on the condition that it take place inside the apartment — with the lights off. “It’s more romantic that way,” he claims. Monte soon gets his kiss. “Oh, babe! You’ve got such soft, clinging lips! Kiss me again!”

Kissing Jimmy

What he doesn’t realise is that he’s actually kissing Dora, the chimpanzee!!

The next morning, Jimmy feigns illness so that he can continue his search of Maisie’s apartment for the missing jewels. When he doesn’t show up at the theatre, Monte is concerned: “That skirt means everything to me! She’s the future Mrs. McGraw!”

That skirt means everything to me!

Bursting into the apartment, Monte is shocked to find Jimmy ransacking the place. He demands to know what’s going on. Suddenly he notices that “Julie” has an adam’s apple. “No dame has an adam’s apple!” he exclaims, “Only a man! You’re a fake!”

Jimmy's found out!

He pulls a gun and removes Jimmy’s wig. Now he recognises the Daily Planet reporter! As he goes to shoot Jimmy, Dora the chimpanzee attacks him with a baseball bat, knocking him unconscious. Jimmy phones the police.

The chimp wins the day

Later, Superman arrives. Jimmy tells him that he just can’t find the stolen jewels in the apartment. Superman glances around and quickly finds them stuck to the back of the blades of a fan. “Those gems stayed ‘hot’ despite the fan’s cool breeze!” jokes the man of steel. What a wag!

Later still, back at the Daily Planet, and still wearing his dress, Jimmy writes up his story. All the reporters ask for a date with the cutie, but are disappointed. “Sorry, gents! I’m a changed ‘girl’! From now on, I’m Mr. Jimmy Olsen!”

Jimmy's still hot!

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It was a tough choice deciding what panels to use — frankly, every one in this tale is solid gold! When you hear old fart fans like me say they don’t make ’em like that any more, this is what they’re talking about! Man, what a story!! And if you think that’s wild, I can tell you that that wasn’t the only time Jimmy got into a dress… Oh no…

Miss Jimmy Olsen is the third story in Jimmy Olsen #44 and was written by Robert Bernstein and drawn by the incomparable Curt Swan. It’s reprinted in the 80-pg Giant Jimmy Olsen #95, and will no doubt soon be appearing in a Superman Family Showcase volume.